Waking Dreams

I feel lazy but inspired. I want to accomplish so much in my life, but I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning. Dreaming big, but producing so little. Others may disagree with me by saying, "You do so much already." Or, "You get out of the house way more than I do."

What others don't know is that I am only accomplishing about 15% of the things that I want to be doing or should be taking the time to do. There never seems to be enough time in the day, evenings to spare, vacation time or breaks at work to I fit in all the things that I dream of doing. Most are big projects, lifetime aspirations that seem daunting to even start. Other things include dusting or vacuuming the apartment. Not fun, not necessary, but bugs the crap out of me every morning as I look at the layer of dirt on residing my nightstand.

Priorities. We all have them. I believe and stand by the concept that the excuse of "not enough time in the world" is not a valid reason for not participating in something or not getting things done. We all make choices each and everyday. Each moring I make the choice of sleeping in a bit longer and not riddingthe nightstand of the accumulated dust. For me (at this very moment), my priorities include sleeping, resting, working, derby, music, and prepping for a house and baby. This blog is further down the list of my priorities, as is learning to play bass guitar (which I still really want to do).

Everything takes a certain level of commitment in order to succeed. Someday in my life I will write a book, record a song, be on the board of directors for an organization I believe in, and even make a quilt. These things will happen, but not right away, not all at once. But in order for them to happen, I need to make them a priority. For now they are just dreams, even cleaning the apartment.

As frustrating and difficult as it is for me to accept, sleep and rest are my biggest priorities right now. I know that my priorities will alter greatly in the next few months, even years, but it doesn't make the change any easier. Life will carry us only so far. What we choose to do with our time, each passing minute, is up to each of us. I hate wasting even one minute. However, I need to understand that these minutes are not being wasted, they are minutes spent giving life to another. Hey, that's my excuse, what is yours?